mademoiselle mit Zigarette

lightning three miles south of here, atmospherically

it takes time to work something out, whether it's a new technique, a song, a book or movie, or understanding someone else. something that seems so foreign, even uninteresting, often engages at it comes to your door again and again, refusing to be ignored. however, not everything is like this. more fragility to the situation, the impermanence of things. a dinner party of parting friends and acquaintances, a rainstorm, a visit to the lake, reminding me of freshness and change.

trance is natural. it is instinctive, and needs time. repetition to stare down, remaining patient, catching details, changes. ritual needs to be personal, adaptive, spontaneous. how can it be a group endeavor, if those involved do not even share the same mind space?

new things

my first cd ever - circa 1993

don't you love the uncertainty of new things? and i mean things - objects, stuff, created by mankind, usually bought, sometimes expensive. i recently received a laptop for my work, and did all the plugging in, x-ing out of dialog boxes, etc. - there's something alien about the object, but i'm intrigued. i also received (among other things) an emory board as a gift today. there's a different kind of technology. i think 'before there's history there's possibility', and the object becomes a vehicle for exploration and creation, whatever it is, in its own way. liminal gift giving, the kind rich with potential, the opposite of presumed knowing of the recipient.

about the cd - dinosaur - this was a great album, loud and dirty, unpolished, i stepped out a bit to pick up this one, having detested so-called grunge. i didn't know this album was before all that, and has great titles like 'forget the swan' (oh, o.k.), 'severed lips', and 'repulsion' - 'everyone's idea of fun... repulsion'. saddest story, usually true - early work is best.

kalash spring festival

BBC NEWS In pictures: Kalash spring festival

this afternoon i sat in an acupuncturist's office reading an article about society's need to slow the pace of their life down so that a different sense of time can arise. while i wouldn't disagree, the way one interprets 'slow down' seems to be a small but very important detail. i've been extremely busy, at work and outside of it, and i could tell you all the things i've been doing in time meant for at most half of those things, but that wouldn't be very interesting. there will be time for glaciers, for staring at coffee listening to cars passing by on the streets, to the pace of the springs, and for the walk to and from. these are the schedule-less things, in that their appreciation is often unexpected, like waking up to rain or renting a movie you thought wouldn't be so good. the unplanned, and willingness to let it happen.

grackles

a small confession

i made a depeche mode mix tape. it runs about 90 minutes and looks like this:

side one

1. nodisco
2. it doesn't matter two
3. behind the wheel
4. shake the disease
5. photographic
6. tora! tora! tora!
7. dressed in black
8. and then
9. new dress
10. fly on the windscreen
11. sometimes

side two

1. any second now (voices)
2. here is the house
3. the landscape is changing
4. blasphemous rumors
5. puppets
6. everything counts
7. a question of lust
8. leave in silence
9. see you
10. everything counts (reprise)

i made a copy for my friend and co-worker, sarah. i hope she likes it.